singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
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Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
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that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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