I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize