i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
