I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
