I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
