too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
