the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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