Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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