He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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