She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
