he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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