K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
