I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
