just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
