another moral hangover. fuck.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm too high and old for this...
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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