11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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