I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
