tell your sister to shave her snatch
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
