Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
