my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Im part way to drunk.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
