I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
