you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
