After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
