Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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