just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
