Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Randomize
