You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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