If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
