At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
