We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i wish my penis had a tongue
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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