if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
