Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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