She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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