Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize