Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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