So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
