Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
