He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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