I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
