He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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