After last night, I could never be a politician.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
