Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I would fuck him just for his dog
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