I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
