okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
