Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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