i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
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