There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
