no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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