What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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