It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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