We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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