The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
