Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
