i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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