I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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