I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
