i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
