Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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