New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
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