i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
