I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
